They say that nothing worth doing is easy. Like all of us, I’ve had my bumps in the road. But if you ask me, I’ll always say that I wouldn’t change a thing. Why? Because throughout my journey I’ve honoured the lessons and myself I’ve learned along the way. In October 2009, I was diagnosed as severely depressed, stress and anxiety, I had hit the trifecta and along with it, rock bottom. My life was unravelling fast, I’d become disconnected to myself and who I once was. My soul was broken and I became a zombie of my former self on autopilot of survival. Sometimes you need to hit Rock Bottom to really understand your own strength, determination and will power to keep going. But there was a small flame inside me that refused to go out, that kept flickering, begging me to not give up and keep going, re-assuring me there is a reason why. I kept hearing a soft persistent voice whispering to me "all this will make sense one day, just keep breathing through it" Well it kind of did, a couple of years later I woke up and looked in the mirror at the old and exhausted shadow of myself looking back at me, who I’d become. I cried uncontrollable, ugly, sobbing tears like I’d never cried before, it was a release of years of holding everything perfectly in, the perfect, daughter, sister, and the perfect wife I had been playing the part of so well. That day I made a decision that would change my life forever. I left my husband of six years with literally two suitcases of my belongings, couldn’t even tell you what was in those suitcase, and drove away from our home. I was thirty-five years old and I started over. I've never looked back. That was the start of my long journey to re-discovering me again. Hitting Rock bottom is a beautiful, scary place, it means you have no choice but to breathe, reflect and start a new chapter. I now live in Perth, Western Australia with my incredible husband, whom I met in the not so crowded Fiji Airport. It was totally love at first sight, but that’s a story for another time. We now have a very energetic cattle dog and our eight-year-old rescue cat, Cleopatra who is literally the queen of the house. So welcome to my journey, my blog, and my next chapter and all the adventures and life lessons in between.
With love and Light, Rachel, Xx
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